Updated: Jan 28
So, I have been there....done that. No really, I have. I was a single mother for 12 years. TWELVE YEARS.....no father, 9 years no child support. NOTHING. And trust and believe it was tough. There were times that I honestly didn't know what the hell I was doing. All I knew is I wanted my child to have a better life than I did. I didn't have a horrible childhood but I damn sure didn't have the best. My mother had to raise 3 children on her own when I was about 9 years old. She had to work a lot so I was always left in charge of my younger brother and sister and by in charge, I use that term very loosely. Because if anyone knows my siblings they do what they want. But we will get to those two topics later.....fast forward to the present. Me and my husband are what you would consider the modern-day Brady Bunch. He has two sons prior to our children and I had one child prior. Together, we collectively have 5 children who we love regardless if they have the same parents. It is tough having a blended family but as long as you all remove the personal feelings behind and put the kids as a priority, it's easy. My biggest challenges at the moment are the stages of development my 3 who are at home are going through. My son is trying to gain his independence yet he is still the "baby". My middle daughter is learning concrete vs imaginative.....she has a big creative mind and she loves to dance, pretend and even act. But often she forgets when the cameras are not rolling. And the little adult. She is now 18 and boy is she feeling the growing pains of "adulting". I will admit that I sheltered her a great deal of her life because I felt that I would protect her from all the bad and evil in the world but in the process, I have stunted her growth in independence. As bad as she wants to handle things on her own.....she struggles. So my responsibility to her as her parent is to prepare her to stand her own ground. I won't just throw her out into the world unprepared but my plan is to make sure that she has a clean slate, zero debt, and great credit. I moved out at a young age with a baby and wish I would have known the things that I did now. I feel like we as parents need to break those generational curses. Just because mom was an alcoholic doesn't mean I have to be one. If I am struggling with mental health, I need to seek help and guidance because please believe.....hurt people hurt people. As unintentional as it was there were times that I hurt her emotionally. Sometimes we have to take a mental check and ask ourselves......Am I coping effectively? Am I ok? Should I talk to someone? Social media has changed the way that we communicate. It's as if we are more connected but yet disconnected. God did not mean for us to live a life of solitude. We can't isolate ourselves from the world and expect to grow spiritually. If you feel there is no one who to talk to or no one will understand, feel free to contact me and I would love to talk it out, help you overcome this, or simply lend an ear. Sometimes we just need to let it all out.